Where are my glasses?

I ask this question multiple times a day. I had perfect vision up until a few years ago, when reading glasses became helpful, and then more recently, necessary.

When my kids need me to read something, write a check or sign something, the smart ones find me a pair of glasses first. (Note to kids: You're all smart, so quit trying to decide who I am talking about!) OK, and I have some friends who know the same thing about me. 

Yesterday we pulled into the driveway and I saw a pair tucked away by a plant. I had not seen these glasses in at least a week!

I decided to take pictures of all the random places I found my glasses today.

There is no point to this post at all. Just sharing a day in the life of this mom.

(Note: If you ever want to get me a gift, reading glasses would be a great idea. The string that goes around the neck may be a wiser gift, but I'm not there yet.)

It's Almost Over...

I wrote here about the last week of summer.

Shifting Gears

Today, this went on our front door:

It's the last day of school and I feel like my kids ~

I can't believe its finally here!

Late nights ~ here we come!

Sleeping in ~ I've been waiting for you!

No worries about homework, projects and tests ~ YES!

Friends over in the middle of the week for a sleepover ~ Yes, you can!

Bike rides to the ice-cream shop ~ of course!
Badminton net ~ set it up!

Pool ~ let's get that membership!

Watermelon, s'mores, hot dogs, ice-cream, pasta salads, grilling, and dinners on the patio ~ can't wait

Summer camps, bug spray,sunscreen ~ bring it on! 

Sitting on my front porch, sitting on my back patio ~ this is what I love.

I love the summer shift. I really, really do.
Welcome, summer! We've been waiting for you!

Love Notes in my Pantry

My mother-in-law, Verona,  left twenty-six days ago. I miss her terribly. She was here in our home for ten days. Six of those days Kevin and I were in Utah and she was here cooking and running our kids around. She was also baking and reading and walking our dog. She was cleaning, taking naps and sitting at softball games. She was checking homework, helping with projects, loving our kids and being an amazing grandma, mom and mother-in-law.

I respect Verona a lot. She raised four kids, three of which were boys...one of those boys made her believe he would be an only child (this would be the one to which I am married). She is a mother-in-law to three women and one man, and I am constantly learning from her how to be a mother-in-law. She is a wonderful cook (many of the recipes I make are from her), she also has much order in her home. She is intelligent, a good friend, and much more.

I am always looking for others to help me in this journey of mine, knowing Verona would be here and working within my kitchen, I gave her free reign to reorganize anything she wanted. If she thought a different arrangement or system would serve me better, than I told her to please re-arrange or at least let me know what she thought when I returned.

I returned from Utah to children who felt loved and deeply cared for, cupcakes and muffins on my counter, cookies in my freezer, clean sheets on our bed, a completed puzzle on the dining room table, a basket-full of expired canned and boxed goods from the pantry and these notes on my pantry shelves:

Its been twenty-six days since she left and the notes remain still. Her handwriting in my pantry greets me each and every time I open that door, it tells me she was here ~ a little bit of her presence, love and care wash over me. We have lived many, many miles apart for nineteen of the twenty years I have been married to her son, and I am reminded how blessed I am, and how much I sometimes crave her presence in my life. When I grow up (even more than I am now) and am in her position as the mother-in-law, in many, many ways, I want to be just like her.

Is there a special way your mother-in-law touches your life?

More Than Fun & Games

This is one of my friends, I don't think she wants me to share her age, so I won't. In fact, she wasn't sure she wanted me to write about her, but eventually she agreed. She said I could use her picture, but not her name. In the end its about her inspiration....but she's pretty so I wanted you to "meet" her.

We were at a luncheon to benefit Healthier Moms and Babies today and as we spoke, I learned she had a "small heart attack" in January. When I discovered her age (one of the details I won't share) I asked her what she does to stay so youthful. What she said inspired me and I knew I had to write about it.

She used to be pretty active, but since the heart attack she hasn't quite had her energy back so she works to keep her mind active. Currently, she is teaching two people how to play cribbage. I love this. She didn't give up, she figured out what she could do and did that. She loves teaching the game because it means she has company and she gets to use her mind to stay active.

What she said next really made me smile -

"I also play Wii...to keep a little physically active."
Smiling and with a little wonder in my voice, I asked "What do you play?
 It turns out that she bowls. So do I.
"I'm pretty good at bowling." I tell her.
"So am I." She said.
She asked my high score, I said I didn't know, I just know I beat my kids at Wii bowling.
Her current high score is 260. Sometimes she bowls with her left hand to challenge herself. If she is too tired to bowl, she sits on a chair and bowls. "At least its something active." she said.

I want to be like her when I grow into a wise woman of the ages. Actually, I want to be like her now. I want to make sure I am looking for opportunities to challenge and stretch myself. I want to think outside the box. I want to bowl a 260! 

At the end of our time together today I asked if I could take her picture and write about how inspiring I find her. She teared up.She doesn't think she's that inspiring. She said "I just do little things." I told her that I believe it is the little things that make the most difference; that most of us can identify with the little things. She agreed. She hugged me and I received permission to write about a woman who I am going to invite over so we can have a bowling tournament. I'm going to try to beat her. I have a feeling I won't.

A Mother of the Year Moment

I had just walked into church and stopped to greet to a friend who was sitting in the back holding her grandson. As I walked away I ran into my friend Jill, and with an exasperated laugh and a huge smile, she said she went to drop the baby off in the nursery and realized she didn't have him! She retrieved him from his grandmothers arms and returned to the nursery check-in process.

We laughed together, because really, what mom can't relate? Seriously, this was funny.

(Keep in mind, I have forgotten to pick up my son from middle school football practice...twice...in a row, and somehow I still bear the title National Young Mother of the Year.) Tell me you can't relate to this.

Over Here....

 A few lines on aging over here.

Wondering....

I'm over here today.

7 Life Lessons from a Duck

Sometimes . . .

1.  You get your ducks in a row and something comes along and blows them away.

2.  You have to stick your neck out for the ones you love.

3.  You just have to roll with it.

4.  You need to check on your friends.

5.  You have to shake it off.

6.  You need to take a moment to re-group.

7.  You have to look unfazed and get back in the front to lead.



The Gap

1. A break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc.

2. a missing part; gap

3. any gap or opening

I recently returned from a six day hiatus from my life as mom, wife, taxi driver, chef, volunteer and more. I was in San Antonio, Texas for an American Mothers national board meeting for a few days, which I then extended to Dallas to visit a friend for a few more days.

Six days away for a mom is a lot ~ in terms of time, and also in terms of what we do on the front end to prepare. We arrange rides, supervision, schedules, meals and more. Then there are the things we miss; games, tournaments, weekend family time. But there is also the substance (and sustenance) we gain ~ quiet, time and space for thoughts to move about more freely, to linger longer, to unwind to depths we might not have reached otherwise.

I needed a break in the continuity of my work as a mom. I needed to create a gap. I needed an opening. And the truth is, I didn't even know it.

Don't we all need that gap - regardless of our vocation? I would not have scheduled this time away. I needed a reason. The purpose of the post today is to encourage you to find a reason for a hiatus. To be creative when looking for a reason and location. If your break comes within the walls of a friend's home, be bold when planning and let your friend know your purpose so that you build in quiet time. I had the luxury of a hotel room for a few of my days (and some great private space at my friend's), but this may not always be the case.

Time away allows us to move from thinking about how to accomplish the urgent in our day to planning for how to accomplish the important in our lives. Take a breath, look at your calendar, plan ahead...way ahead if you need to, and create a gap.

Perspectives....

I posted here today.

Pizza with a Purpose

When Courtney was a high school freshman, my friend Barb gave me some great advice. Courtney had become part of a group of girls that ended up in our basement often. I wondered what to do with these girls ~ wanting to embrace them without hovering. Barb said, "Feed them."

She went on to tell me to feed them something a little special, something they maybe don't normally get. Her speciality was home-made milkshakes. Not many people make those anymore so when she broke out the blender the girls at her house felt special.

My speciality became homemade pizza. They loved it, so I made it often. I remember the evening of her junior year prom I made a pizza for after the prom, another family ended up hosting the group of kids at their house but Courtney stopped home and grabbed that pizza to take with her. I would have loved to have had the group here, but I was delighted that a part of me went with her to the other house.

She is now a college freshman, and few weeks ago she traveled to visit her friends for a weekend at their college. I received a text while she was there that said they said they missed my pizza. It made me smile. I replied that I would make it for them over Christmas break.

Tonight my basement is full of girls home from college...along with pans of homemade pizza. I love that the simple act of making pizza impacted them. As moms, sometimes we don't know if we are doing things that matter, or if anyone even notices. But I think it does and sometimes they do. These girls would be here even without my pizza, it was Courtney's invitation and presence that brought them here tonight, but something simple that I did to serve them mattered. I like that. Thanks Barb.

Can I See Your I.D.?

A funny (and embarrassing) thing happened when I took Zach out for dinner a few weeks ago. (If you haven't read about the gift of presenCe, click here) I wanted to take him someplace he had not been to, someplace original and with great food; I thought of JK O'Donnell's. Kevin and I have been there a few times and I thought Zach would appreciate the Irish food and environment.

The problem was immediately apparent when we were approached by our waiter who carded us! So, duh....JK ODonnells is an Irish Ale House! In American terms, a bar. I was thinking about the food and the atmosphere, not realizing it was a bar! So embarrassing...on so many levels!

We did find another restaurant that he had not been to and we did enjoy a great meal together. But as I write this, I realize the name of that restaurant is not something you would expect either - Granite City Brewery. Oh my. Now that's Young Mother of the Year material right there.

I'm Back

I am coming back today. Its been a month of wondering if I have anything to say, and wondering if what I say matters. (I think I do, I hope it does, so I'm back)

Its been a month of preparing something special for my son's 16th birthday, thinking about how to keep Christmas simple and focused, and a month in which we discovered my brother-in-law has cancer. I will be back here today with a post about mom stuff. See you soon!

Who's in Your Group?

We all want to belong. In pre-school we hold hands with "my friend" even when we don't know her name. In elementary school we find a group to play with on the playground. In middle-school we want to belong to a lunch table, in high school we long to fit somewhere, so we join the team, the club, the band.

It doesn't really change, as adults we still long to belong. We want to know someone has got our back, that someone will pick up our kids when we can't, that we can laugh, cry, pray and eat with others who know us.

Saturday night we gathered together with "our group". After nine years, our group is a little like a family. We've been through a lot with each other and have stacked up some history. Recently we decided our gathering needed to change, life had taken us to new places, and what we had been doing wasn't working anymore. We now meet less often but it felt more rich. I love that we mean enough to each other to re-evaluate and not just quit when it gets complicated.

I looked at this group of friends as we gathered to begin our study (also being done in a new format) and told them how much they all meant to me...and I teared up. Nine years is a long time. Courtney was 9 when we first were invited to join them - she is now at college. We've walked each other through a lot. Our lives criss-cross significantly more now that our kids are older. We can relax with each other, let our quirkiness leak out and know its OK (they know we're quirky anyway). We know each others strengths...and weaknesses.

Right now our church leaders are urging everyone to get in a small group. Have dinner, do a study and pray together. I believe in this. I think it's easy to feel alone; we don't have family within 500 miles and yet we have what, at many times, feels life family within this group...all because we took a risk and showed up for Zesty Cheese Soup and a Bible study one fall evening.

Whose hand are you holding? Do you know who you are having lunch with? If you know these answers, awesome. If you don't, look around and see whose table you want to join and invite them over for dinner. Let's all do this life together.

Today

You can find me here today.

Sometimes...

Sometimes its just hard being a mom.

Sometimes its probably hard being the kid.
Sometimes it must feel hard to move from kid to young adult.

Hi Ray...

I wrote on Slices of an Ordinary Life.
Click here to read it and take a poll on the subject!