A Few Days Later

"Today" (below) could not have been titled Moment. I knew the anxiety and despair I was feeling was running fairly deep. That is why I chose to write about it here, because this is where I share my tale. Like the real world, sometimes you will come to visit and my house is in order and we will talk about the funny and good stuff going on, but sometimes you will come over and my house is cluttered and there are piles on literally every surface. (Where does all this paper & clutter come from?!)

I didn't expect anything from that post, I just wanted to be real with you. There is some good stuff going on in this journey and there are also some really hard times ~ such is each of our lives. What I received from sharing this hard part was some great encouragement. Some of you posted prayers, encouragement or even your story in comments here, some on Facebook and others via private message or email. I have read them all. Thank you.

The last few days haven't been easy, the anxiety hasn't disappeared (although it is more moments than complete days right now). I have been reading the Bible and praying daily. Its been interesting to see that as I pray one day, I will read verses the next day that echo my prayers from the previous day. My daughter said she believes this is God affirming that He is hearing my prayers.

Friends have been praying for us, and have shared verses and devotions with me (which has been great, God's word is the best word right now). On Monday I was reading and Proverbs 24:16 stood out ...for though the righteous fall seven times, they will rise again... I shared this with a friend and she wrote back, that she believes I will rise again, but that until I do, she will lay with me where I have fallen and pray over me. This image has been a powerful one.

My point in sharing this today is that I believe on some level its easier to not let others in when we are buried in clutter, have fallen or feel overwhelmed. We can feel embarrassed or ashamed about what that looks like. We try to protect ourselves from the judgment of others. But what I have found over the last few days is that though the situation hasn't resolved,  (and I am seeing the therapist tomorrow and I did go to the gym today...doing what I can to be healthy in mind, body and soul) the despair is beginning to dissipate and the anxiety is more moments than days. God has been able to reach me in multiple ways using people because I let you see the mess.

If you are in a tough spot today, consider opening the door and letting someone in. Know that all of us have clutter on the counters sometimes (and the table, and dresser and washing machine). Know that when you allow others to wade through the mess with you, in turn they may allow you to lay down and pray over them when they fall.We learn we can trust each other for each other.

More Than Fun & Games

This is one of my friends, I don't think she wants me to share her age, so I won't. In fact, she wasn't sure she wanted me to write about her, but eventually she agreed. She said I could use her picture, but not her name. In the end its about her inspiration....but she's pretty so I wanted you to "meet" her.

We were at a luncheon to benefit Healthier Moms and Babies today and as we spoke, I learned she had a "small heart attack" in January. When I discovered her age (one of the details I won't share) I asked her what she does to stay so youthful. What she said inspired me and I knew I had to write about it.

She used to be pretty active, but since the heart attack she hasn't quite had her energy back so she works to keep her mind active. Currently, she is teaching two people how to play cribbage. I love this. She didn't give up, she figured out what she could do and did that. She loves teaching the game because it means she has company and she gets to use her mind to stay active.

What she said next really made me smile -

"I also play Wii...to keep a little physically active."
Smiling and with a little wonder in my voice, I asked "What do you play?
 It turns out that she bowls. So do I.
"I'm pretty good at bowling." I tell her.
"So am I." She said.
She asked my high score, I said I didn't know, I just know I beat my kids at Wii bowling.
Her current high score is 260. Sometimes she bowls with her left hand to challenge herself. If she is too tired to bowl, she sits on a chair and bowls. "At least its something active." she said.

I want to be like her when I grow into a wise woman of the ages. Actually, I want to be like her now. I want to make sure I am looking for opportunities to challenge and stretch myself. I want to think outside the box. I want to bowl a 260! 

At the end of our time together today I asked if I could take her picture and write about how inspiring I find her. She teared up.She doesn't think she's that inspiring. She said "I just do little things." I told her that I believe it is the little things that make the most difference; that most of us can identify with the little things. She agreed. She hugged me and I received permission to write about a woman who I am going to invite over so we can have a bowling tournament. I'm going to try to beat her. I have a feeling I won't.

Growing vs. Maintaining

667 miles separate me from my sister Jamie.

594 miles separate me from my sister Tracey and my sister-in-law Kalie.

1,234 miles separate Tracey and Kalie from Jamie.

There are other things that separate us as well ~ time, finances, schedules and work. So we call, text, IM, Facebook and email to stay in touch, keep current and maintain our relationships, and I appreciate ALL of this.

But a few months ago, we planned a weekend to overcome all of that and meet in Chicago for a "Wicked" Sister Weekend. Tickets were purchased, reservations made, and anticipation built. Then life happened and my sister Tracey was unable to join us. (You can read about that here.) With non-refundable expensive tickets, Kalie invited her sister-in-law, Amy, (a perfect choice) to join the "sister weekend" and off we went.

It was amazing. It was so much fun. There was so much laughter. There was a really wonderful dinner, a fantastic musical, a great bottle of champagne, a hotel in the heart of the city, valet parking, cab rides, shopping, funny, funny lines we will remember for a long time, matching sweaters (not intended - which made it even funnier), a church service, a quite dinner, popcorn, and so much more.

We created new memories with each other, we grew new connections with Amy, and we remembered that removing ourselves from our day to day lives revives us, relaxes us and energizes us. We can't wait to do it again, and we will as soon as Tracey can join us.

I value face to face time and shared experiences. This is why I planned a beach vacation for our families, why I meet my high school friend Diane at a favorite coffee shop when I am back in my home state, and why I drive 90 miles (one way) to meet my friend Barb for lunch. I know I can maintain my relationships with phone calls, texts, IM's, Facebook and emails, and understand how tricky it can be to plan these get-aways. But I believe it takes shared experiences to grow the relationships.

If someone has come to your mind as you have read this, consider getting some time away to connect, laugh, share and grow your relationship. Its not usually easy to do this, but then valuable, important things ~ or people ~ are worth the investment.

(I posted A True Tale of Grace here yesterday)