Christmas Eve 2007

...let the little children come to me... Luke 18:16

Gina, Brian and their four young daughters had spent the entire day at her parents celebrating with family. Now, as they slipped into the back of the church for Christmas Eve service, Gina surveyed those around her and became painfully aware that her family had arrived not in little red dresses and black shiny shoes, but jeans, sweatshirts and tennis shoes. "Oh brother." she sighed.

When the pastor invited all the children to come close for the children's message, Gina groaned and then watched as her eldest, Bethany, scurried down the isle hugging everyone she knew on the isle seats. As the pastor complimented the little ones on their fancy attire, Gina wanted to leave.

Then he asked this question, "What are we waiting for tonight?" Bethany's hand shot straight up in the air and "Hanukkah!" came forth. After clearing that up he asked another question, "What is something you've had to wait for"? Again Bethany's hand shot straight up and she said, "Well, I've had to wait for my mom to wake up from a nap. Wait, and wait, and wait and wait." Gina's head found its way into her hands.

As my friend told me this story I was laughing with her and feeling her pain. As a mom with young children at the time I identified with wanting to feel joy and pride in the way our children represent our family. I want to be the mom whose children are dressed nicely and give the answers that tell we know Jesus in our home. Not necessarily the one whose child has sat down in the middle of the song, in front of the whole church, to pick his nose, or flip up her dress. (I do recognize the pride here, I'm just being honest.)

I reflected on Gina's story a lot the next day. I thought about how it really was a great Christmas story.

Bethany, though a young child loves the Lord. I thought about how much like Jesus she really was. Had Jesus been at that service, I don't think he would have been any more dressed up than he normally was; when we read of the wedding in Galilee, there was no mention of his fancy garb. When Jesus walked among the people he would greet them along the way, remember how he called out to Zacchaeus - and he wasn't even near the isle, he was up in a tree!

Luke 18:16-17 says, "But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Oh, that we could all be a little more like Bethany - greeting, shaking hands and hugging all the friends we meet along our way. That we would wave our hand with excitement to give the answers, and that in our excitement we would not worry about shouting out a response that is different from what is expected. That we should all smile as big as Bethany does because she knows Jesus is in her heart.

I was not at this particular Christmas Eve service, and even if I had been, there is no way to be sure, but I am certain that Jesus was smiling at Bethany that night. Had Jesus shown up in the flesh, I can only imagine how I might have responded to his presence, but I believe, without a doubt, that a smiling Bethany would have run full blast into his arms.

I don't know about you, but I want to be more like Bethany.

Christmas Journey

The "Reason for the Season", the "True Meaning of Christmas", cliches I constantly hear this time of year. Discovering Christmas is a journey for me, and each year I seek to be a little more wise as I travel and lead my children to the manger. Each year we arrive a little less weighed down by extras and a little more free to see the gift that awaits below the star.

(December 2005) It was two weeks to Christmas; not much time really considering I hadn't even thought of baking a cookie, taken the family picture for the card, written our Christmas letter and still had much shopping to do. I should have been in panic mode, but I was not. A few years earlier I began taking in some valuable lessons on being a parent during this season.

The lessons started on Thanksgiving, I learned that the holiday meal will taste no less delicious if your five year old comes to the table in sweats she has worn for three days and a pajama top. I had asked her to go dress for dinner; this is how she dressed. She had helped to set the table and prepare part of the meal, and had done it all with a huge smile. I decided to overlook the fashion faux pas; what was important was what she had brought to the table, not what she wore to the table.

Another lesson came through a question posed by my seven year old after gifts had been put under the tree. "Why do we get all the presents if Christmas is about Jesus?" Such an big question from such a small boy. In fact, the year before I had wondered the same thing on Christmas Eve as I surveyed all the gifts under the tree. If its all about celebrating Jesus, what have I done by adding all this stuff? It suddenly didn't seem right to give so much to each other but come to the King so empty handed.

That year we talked about a gift we could each give to Jesus. Something meaningful that we could lay at the manger. Ideas were reading our Bibles, praying, making wise choices. We each wrote down our gift, put them all in a box with a pretty ribbon to be tucked away and opened again the next year.

The following year we opened the box to see if we had indeed honored the gifts we had intended to present to Him. Some of us did better than others, though none of us gave the perfect gift. Which gave us an opportunity to talk about how God's grace would cover our shortcomings and that those shortcomings would not stop us from offering another gift that year.

One distinct lesson came directly from the Wise Men; it was to travel in the right direction. We have several Nativity sets and when the kids were small they would each pick a set to call their own for the season. They would set up the manger scene at the beginning of Advent and start the Wise Men far from the Nativity. Every night they would move their Wise Men closer and closer, arriving to worship and bear gifts to Jesus on Christmas.

As the Wise Men moved closer to the Jesus, sometimes I felt as if I was moving farther away, usually unaware; just too busy to think about where I was in the Advent journey. But that year I moved with the Wise Men closer to the manger. It was simple things that kept me focused that year. I felt content to sip coffee from a favorite Christmas mug in the morning, I felt happy to watch Frosty the Snowman with the kids, deliberate as I shopped for the gifts, which were fewer that year.

I read an article once that said there never has been and never will be our "picture perfect" Christmas. The first Christmas was dirty, cold and smelly. What makes me think I deserve more than that?

There will be years when I lose sight of that. There may be years in which we travel non-stop, there are bound to be meals in which I demand proper attire, days in which I am baking like crazy; occasionally I will feel crabby and overwhelmed.

But more and more I seek to revel in the moments of the season. Making efforts to be intentional about the direction we are taking, taking time to marvel at the absolute wonder that took place in a barn (or more likely a cold, dark cave) as we make our way to the manger to come and adore Him.

Read On-Going Efforts to Simplify Christmas Gift-Giving and My Favorite Christmas Gift

My Favorite Christmas Gift

Less presenTs, more presenCe. This was the message we received in December last year at our church. It was a great message series (I mentioned it here). In light of that, last year the favorite Christmas gift that I gave was a letter to each of my children which ended with the gift of presenCe. In each letter I told each child specific attributes I see in them, reasons they make my heart swell and more. Then I ended each letter with a promise of time.

Courtney received the largest gift. I figured with her leaving for college within the next year I wanted (and selfishly needed) more time. She and I went on an overnight shopping trip to Chicago, which also included dinner and a play. Erin was to receive lunch and an activity with me, Kyler was to receive an activity with me, and Zach got an evening where he would actually take me out (although I would pick up the tab). This gift would give twice; I would get time with him and he could practice all those niceties that he will need when he enters the world of dating.

Courtney received her presenCe the week before she left for college (a very hectic time). The planning seemed perfect, except then that week it felt like we were squeezing it in. In retrospect, it was indeed perfect timing. I know if I had not given her the promise of this gift and intentionally made the time, we would have missed connecting in the way we did - right before she left.

I am a little embarrassed to admit the others just received their presenCe. That's not to say we didn't experience presenCe this year - I mean I spend a lot of one on one time driving these kids around, attending games, gathering for family dinners and more. But I guess I wonder if we would have had this set-apart time if I had not intentionally reserved it last December 25th.

Reserving time, setting it apart, promising my presenCe. This was my favorite gift. A few days ago we were talking about Christmas gifts and trying to recall the material gifts we received - not many were recalled, but everyone remembered the gifts of presence Kevin and I each gave them. (Kevin also gave each one his own gift of presenCe).

There may just be less presenTs and more presenCe under the tree again this year.

Be Not Afraid of the Red Kettles

Its Red Kettle season, love it or be annoyed by it, but the bells are ringing ~ all the time and everywhere (at least that's what it seems when you don't have even $1 in your pocket!)

In December of 2008, our pastor, Stan Buck challenged us to put something in the kettle every time we passed one; to not walk in the other door to avoid it.

He tossed that challenge out again on Sunday. Be generous. Every time. He reminded us that even if we pass 50 kettles this season, if we give $1 per kettle, well...you can do the math...none of us will go hungry if we do this. So, if you can, than do. (Even if it means fewer lattes or one less gift)

This past Sunday he was teaching on God's Provision. He reminded us that last year we took our first ever Christmas Eve offering. In December, as a church, we took the Advent Conspiracy challenge which was to Spend Less and Give More. We then collected over $35,000 on Christmas Eve...to give away. The entire amount was not for us - it was to bless others. (It was also a special Christmas for our family as we gave less presenTs and gave more presenCe)

Then the earthquake hit in Haiti. And we did it again, on the Sunday after the earthquake we split our offering with our ministry partners in Haiti. In a short two month period we gave away approximately $70,000. Keeping in mind that the economy was at an incredible low point, this was not only an act of generosity - but a deep trust in God's provision. Would our own church needs be met with all this money flowing out of our doors?

On Sunday, Stan reported that even as we were more generous to others, our offerings remained strong and God provided beyond what was needed this past year! We didn't know this would happen when we gave those large amounts away in January, we had to trust. I wonder if that felt a little uncomfortable.

My point in telling you this? Although you read this blog from all over the country, (and the world, there are readers here from 10 different countries!) we all hear the same bells this time of year. The message is simple ~ be generous and trust God for your own provision. Go to the bank today, get $1 bills and listen for the bells.

(Read The $1 Difference here)

On-Going Efforts to Simplify Chistmas Gift-Giving

I really enjoy shopping for my kids. So Christmas can (and overall historically has been) a challenging time for us. I grew up getting many gifts, Kevin did not grow up this way, consequently, we tangled for several years about gift giving at Christmas. Last year our church participated in the Advent Conspiracy, which gave me much needed perspective. (Take a minute to watch this video - seriously, it will impact your thoughts on this season and the presenCe you give ~ it impacted our gift giving in a big and special way last year)

I want to continue the simplicity of gift giving this year and was inspired by a recent post on my friend Myah's blog. She referenced another blog on gift giving for birthdays and Christmas. This idea rolled around in my head for awhile and then over Thanksgiving we talked to our kids about it.

This year we are simplifying the giving for each other. We will give four gifts, one from each of these categories: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. I love that it immediately simplified my thought process on gift giving.

Another simplifying idea this year is this: we will give the kids their own Christmas budget. They can only purchase family gifts with this budget. If they don't spend it all, the balance comes back to us, if they go over budget, the overage comes from their own personal budgets. (We will also encourage a "Christmas" line item in their personal budgets and transfer the financial part of gift giving to them next year.)

Also new last year, we did not help them with gift-giving ideas for each other. We reminded them that they know their siblings, and us, better than anyone; they were to use their own mind and their hearts in their personal shopping.

Christmas and gift-giving. Its a journey, and I'm glad to be challenged in it as I seek to keep the manger clear of the clutter of all the stuff we add to this birth. (My friend Janna also wrote a challenging Christmas post, you can read it here.)

Please share your Christmas ideas through your comments!
(I also posted here today on Christmas ~ like I said...I'm back ;)