He's Back!

Sunday, August 7, 2010, our pastor, Stan Buck, was back in his spot at our church. He hasn't been in his spot since May 15th. On May 19th a brain tumor was discovered and May 20th it was removed

Its been a long eleven weeks.
Its been a miraculous eleven weeks.
Its been an emotionally draining eleven weeks.

If you go to church, you know that many of us have "our seats". Mine is in the front, third row, right side, on the end. I sit here because I am easily distracted, in this spot I can focus more easily on worship and the message. Our pastor sits two rows in front of us, and its been unnerving to not see him in his spot this summer.

But this past Sunday he was back! I didn't realize how much I appreciated seeing the back of that guy's head over the past nine years! Its hard to articulate what it felt like. It was overwhelming, it was comforting, it was joyful, it was evidence of the grace of God. It warmed my heart and made my feet move during worship.

He will be preaching "Messages that Matter" over the next three weeks, I cannot wait to sit under his teaching again. I am overjoyed by his return. I am praying still for his recovery. I am mindful of God's grace. I am aware of my own brokenness and mortality. I am stronger for this even as I feel weak in the knees.

In all of this, with hands lifted high - in grief and in joy -  I am again made aware that God is good...all the time. No matter what.

Click here for "Face Down" my first post about this.
Click here for "Getting up to Follow" my second post.
Click here for the messages from Sonrise Church, Southwest Campus

A Mother of the Year Moment

I had just walked into church and stopped to greet to a friend who was sitting in the back holding her grandson. As I walked away I ran into my friend Jill, and with an exasperated laugh and a huge smile, she said she went to drop the baby off in the nursery and realized she didn't have him! She retrieved him from his grandmothers arms and returned to the nursery check-in process.

We laughed together, because really, what mom can't relate? Seriously, this was funny.

(Keep in mind, I have forgotten to pick up my son from middle school football practice...twice...in a row, and somehow I still bear the title National Young Mother of the Year.) Tell me you can't relate to this.

Mourning into Dancing....

I expected to have a rough time when our daughter left for college, but am finding that I am doing pretty well with the adjustment. However, Sunday mornings catch me off guard. The first Sunday morning tears streamed down my face the entire time of worship and prayer. Which was weird because I had felt fine as I walked into church. Then the next Sunday I made it through worship but tears resumed their trail down my face while our pastor prayed. Hmmmm...What is going on? I wondered.

Then I realized that for the last fifteen years, Sunday mornings have been a time for our family to all be in one place, worshipping with the same music, agreeing in prayer over the same prayers, hearing the same message and then sharing thoughts over lunch. One place...all of us. Almost every single Sunday. Now, one was missing.

Courtney was home the next two Sundays so those Sundays felt "normal". Then she was back on campus this past Sunday. The worship song was Our God is Greater by Chris Tomlin. When we sing this song I most often think of our adopted son and am reminded that God is greater than any past or present force that is against him, and I claim these words as truth and victory.

Today as I was thinking of him, my mind suddenly shifted to Courtney and then I could not stop smiling as I was quickly filled with joy! I felt in that moment that she was in church somewhere and that she was indeed worshipping God along with us. Maybe not with the same song, and there would be different prayers, as well as a different message. But our God was greater than any distance, greater than any force that could separate her from 15 years of building that relationship with Him.

I found out later that afternoon that she indeed was at a church,
worshipping at the same time. Seriously, our God is awesome.