Monday, May 9, 2011

Making Room

Our family has grown ~ it happened while Courtney was at college.

As we were driving to pick her up and move her back home for the summer, I realized there had been much growth over the past nine months. We need to make room not only for all the stuff coming back home, (where are we going to put that futon?) but we are going to need to make room for all the growth as well.

Erin grew into her spot as the only other woman in the house. She became even more helpful, more intuitive, and grew in responsibility and maturity. She grew into herself a little more, she is more confident and carries herself a little taller. Her relationship and even friendship with Zach definitely grew, I see her rely on him in ways she hadn't before. I have heard them laugh and seen them help each other in new ways these past nine months. She sobbed when her sister and best-friend moved out, but now rejoices as she makes room for her to come back and share her room again.

Zach also grew - he stands not only taller, but sturdier as well. He easily slid into the leader of the pack spot when Courtney went to college. He grew in reliability and strength. His shoulders became broader not only physically but relationally. I saw him use them to allow Erin to lean into him when things with Kyler have been chaotic. I remember one day in particular when Kyler went into a rage, Zach cheerfully said, "Hey Erin, let's go outside and play catch." He knew to remove his little sister from the environment that felt a little scary. He has grown in his faith and even in character. Also, in a few short weeks he receives his license and we will need to make room in the drivers seat as we go from two to four drivers. 

Courtney is not the same young woman we left in that dorm room nine months ago. She grew so much this year. She, too, is much more confident. She returns with wisdom and life experience gained while forging her way through life while away from us. She comes back to us with new personal strength as well as cooking skills! (She has requested to make dinner twice this week ~ I'm not gonna kid you, this is an area that delights me!) She drinks coffee now, is used to keeping her own hours, and to coming and going without checking in. She has grown in ways that have changed her at the right time and in the right ways.

Our family is growing, and this must propel us forward. We must expand and widen who we are and how we see each other to make room for all this growth. I will write my thoughts about that next time....

(Kyler has grown as well. To be honest, as I sat down to write this I was discouraged to not be able to measure his growth in obvious ways, but I realize one significant growth area. When we brought Courtney to college, he was not allowed to go with us, his behavior was such that he would have ruined this important and significant day for the family. (It was on the advice of his therapist that we find an alternative way for him to spend that day) When we made plans to move her back home, we didn't even question taking him with us. It felt good to have our family together that day and so I do measure and count that growth.)

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