Let You Go?

It was a Monday afternoon when she said it. She was in the back seat as we were running errands. There was no drama in her voice, just a simple sentence. "I don't know how I'll go to first grade next year mom."

"Well," I told her as I glanced in the rear view mirror, "just like you go to kindergarten...on the bus."

"No," she said, "I mean I'm not sure how I'm going to let you go."

How do they do that? How do they take your grown up heart and make it come undone?

Overall I am pretty confident in my role as a mom. But I have to admit there have been days where it seems everything else comes before them. There are nights I have tucked these kids in and thought to myself, I have met their needs, but I'm not sure I have even looked them in the eye once today.

At the time, Erin's comment made me wonder, how was I ever going to let her go? When I'm on the phone, cleaning or running errands with her in tow, I comfort myself with the thought that I can give her some good attention later. Not really thinking that at some point later won't really be an option.

So I pondered the question I sometimes ask myself, Am I a good mom?

As I helped her dress the next morning, she stopped and looked me in the eye and very purposely began, "Mom..." She went on to tell a story, and I stopped, looked her in the eye and gave her my full, unhurried attention. It was a moment when I felt God whisper, "This is it" and I knew in my heart that I was a good mom.

Its moments. There is not much this side of heaven that is non-stop, continuous, uninterrupted. There will be days in which I feel guilty, there will be times that "later" never arrives. But there will also be days that I get it all right, where the time is invested in the right place at the right time, where deep discussions and light laughter take place over macaroni and cheese. There will be moments that I know, "This is it."

This article was originally published November 12, 2002 and is being published here today specifically for the moms in the Sonrise MOPS Group, where I serve as a Mentor Mom. Be encouraged and reminded that you were the one chosen to be the mom for the children in your home. Look them in the eye, get your errands done, take time for yourself, soak in the moments that matter, believe in yourself, trust God for placing you here. ~Sheri