One of the things I love about being a mom is the challenge to keep moving. If I stayed in the same place in my parenting, I would be standing alone. To maintain influence in her life, I need to change and grow as well.
Here are a few of the ways I can measure some of my movement:
1. Letting her sleep until the afternoon without saying anything other than "You must have been tired" (Compare that to, "Don't you think its time to get up?")
2. Not expecting her home for dinner. The conversation went something like, "What time do you want me home from dinner?" My response was along the lines of, "Well, we are eating at 6:00, but I don't expect you home. I get that you're home on spring break and heading out with friends, if you make it home, great, but if you have other plans, have fun!
3. Though she had an interview in the morning and it was getting late, I did not text her and tell her it was time to come home so she would be well rested. I trusted her to make her own decision.(This one was a little harder, but I did it!)
4. When having a discussion, I was very cognoscente that she trusted me to confide in and that I needed to be trustworthy to respond in a way that drew her near, not pushed her away.
5. I didn't do her laundry. I let it sit all week in her room. I didn't harp on her all week about this.
I am new to this role of parent to a young adult and since she is the one affected by how I live out this position, I value her input.The night before she left to go back to school, we talked about how the week went. With summer on the horizon, it seemed important to ask her if there was anything she felt that didn't go very well. What I love is that she asked me the same question.
Although I am confident I will need to recalculate my navigation on this new path once in awhile, for right now I believe we are headed in the right direction.
I love learning from others, what do you have to share about your journey in parenting a young adult?
Wow, Sheri. This actually brought tears to my eyes. I am impressed with your thoughtful and respectful parenting. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
ReplyDeleteConnie,
ReplyDeleteThanks ~ my hope in sharing is that we all grow and learn. I dont remember the parenting style necessarily changing as I moved through my teen years. The core hasnt changed for me, but how I reach out has.
~ Sheri